Tuzla, June 12: I interview Beba before I leave, in the Bosfam weaving center. Our former AP colleague Aspen Brinton caught Beba in a foul mood when she recorded an interview last year around July 11 for a promotional film on Bosfam. Beba explains to me that she had been tense at the time, because the July 11 anniversary of the massacre was approaching. Today she seems relaxed.

I want to capture something of Beba’s personality in this interview. One the one hand, she can be impetuous, domineering, impatient. We’ve come up with three suggestions for possible Bosfam partners and she’s dismissed them out of hand (“useless,” “hopeless” “out of the question” etc). She refuses to join the Forum of Srebrenica NGOs, which we’re trying to encourage. She has a talent for raising hackles, and this is not helpful. Inside her organization, Beba finds it hard to delegate. This also makes it hard for Bosfam to develop democratic rules and a real structure.

Beba Hadzic (left) with AP intern Pia Schneider.I think Beba must realize that Bosfam’s utter dependency on her is not good. Last year, Aspen, Marta (our intern) and Peter found Beba veering between despair and optimism. Right now she seems much more inclined towards optimism, even though the money is not coming in.

But what a remarkable woman she is. At one stage of the interview, I ask her if she considers herself “courageous.” To me, Beba and the other Srebrenica survivors personify courage. But she looks puzzled and asks what the word means. I try again. “Are you brave?” This produces the same reaction – complete bewilderment.

“Are you strong?” I ask. Now that she understands. She herself is so strong that I expect her to talk about herself. But her answer, roughly translated, is a surprise: “I consider that every woman – Serb, Muslim, Croat – who survived this war and now works to rebuild Bosnia, is strong. Every woman who brings up a child, who supports an unemployed husband, who has responsibility for a family of five people – that’s strength. That’s bigger than Bosfam.”

My heart goes out to Beba. I remind myself that we must talk to her more often and more directly. Partnership is indeed a two-way thing, and we have much to learn from Bosfam and its director.