This is not the first time I’ve had this knot in my stomach. I had it before leaving for my study abroad in college. It re-appeared when I moved across country for graduate school. It’s a mixture of excitement, anticipation, and fear. Despite its familiarity, I struggle to understand it and find proper ways to deal with it.

The reality that I will be traveling to Nepal is starting to set in. Finally. But I still can’t picture my life there at the moment. However my thoughts continue to shift non-stop from the significant to the mundane. The political landscape in Nepal is changing on a daily basis, and I’m forced to consider my personal security. I’m also becoming more “aware” of my identity as an American, as an Asian, as a student, and am considering how these identities will shift during my travels. At the same time, I’m wondering if I need to bring shampoo, or if I should just buy it when I get to Kathmandu. The bigger picture and the smaller details are constantly colliding in my head.

I’m not sure what to expect when I arrive at COCAP on my first day. I’ve had increasingly positive interactions with my internship. Things are slowly coming together, but I’m feeling more confident that things will work out.

The next few weeks before I leave will be an absolute frenzy of preparations for two study abroad trips in Europe on top of Nepal. I hope my stomach can handle it.