Over the weekend I had two experiences that got me down a bit about this country. The first was pretty standard – some guy trying to pickpocket me, ineptly as it turned out. But it was a bit scary just because the distraction attempt consisted of another guy grabbing both my arms and shaking me.

The second made me think more. I was waiting for someone in a Bujumbura hotel, and the receptionist was asking what I was doing, so I explained about Survivor Corps and the work I’ve been doing with CEDAC. His reaction was so violent that had it not been 9am in a Protestant hostel I would have assumed that he was drunk. Grabbing me by the arm and spitting as he spoke, he shouted that CEDAC only helped the rebels, and that all the rebels were criminals who should be thrown out of Burundi and tried by the ICC, and that he was angered that people like me came to the country to help criminals rather than helping ordinary Burundians (presumably meaning him). Trying to strike a reasonable note, I pointed out that I am working with a number of people who were children when they committed these crimes, and that under Burundian law they therefore couldn’t be held liable. Even angrier, he reiterated that the country would never be peaceful until it had been cleansed of these rebel criminals. Given the way he referred repeatedly to ‘rebel crimes’ and not crimes committed by the army, I suspect that there was an ethnic element, and that he was really talking about Hutu criminals.

This incident really shocked me; it was the first time that any Burundian had said anything other than we need to reconcile, we need peace, and let’s have peaceful elections. They are often critical of the government and express concern about the elections – especially as there are fears that the government will attempt to rig it. But so far no-one has expressed ethnic hate in the present tense, or a desire for violence. At some level he may have a point – it does seem unfair to focus on helping former soldiers rather than the civilians who suffered so much – but through my work with CEDAC I have come into contact with several people who would probably meet this man’s definition of ‘victims’ who have benefitted from their programmes and, in any case, the narratives of people like Arcade show that dividing people into ‘victims’ and ‘evil perpetrators who should be tried in the Hague’ just doesn’t work. Plus, in my opinion, the best way to help the population of Burundi as a whole is to prevent the conflict from restarting – which means preventing the rebels going back to war, which means giving them options – however much it may stick in the throat I hope that this man is an exception – but I can’t help wondering if, under the surface, many other people feel the same way. I think of the young people in Kinaba, who turned away from hate to help rebuild their country, and I realise that what this incident shows more than anything else is the need to continue working for reconciliation.

Pendent le weekend, j’ai eu deux expériences qui m’ont déprimé un peu. Le premier était normale – quelqu’un a essayé de me voler à la tire – mais il a besoin de plus pratiquer, parce qu’il l’a fait très mal ! Mais il m’a fait un peu peur juste parce que la stratégie de distraction était de me prendre par les bras et me toper.

Le deuxième m’a fait penser. J’étais en train d’attendre quelqu’un à un hôtel à Bujumbura, et le réceptionniste m’a demandé qu’est-ce que je fais en Burundi. Je l’ai expliqué le travail de Survivor Corps et le travail que j’ai fait avec CEDAC – et sa réaction était si violent que, sans le fait que nous étions dans une auberge Protestante à 9h du matin, je l’aurais pris pour être sou. Il m’a pris par le bras, et crié que CEDAC aide seulement les rebelles, et tous les rebelles sont les criminelles qui doivent être jetés du Burundi et jugé au CPI – et qu’il était fâché que les gens comme moi viennent au Burundi pour aider les criminelles, en place d’aider les Burundais ordinaires (traduction : comme lui !). J’essayais d’être calme et raisonnable, donc j’ai noté que je travaille avec beaucoup des gens qui ont joint les rebelles comme enfants et, selon la loi Burundais, ils ne sont pas passible. Pas de chance ; encore plus fâché, il a répété que le pays ne saurait jamais la paix avant d’être nettoyé de ces criminelles. Comme il a parlé du ‘crimes rebelles’ – et pas les crimes des forces armées Burundais – je suspecte qu’il y a un message ethnique – pas les criminelles rebelles, mais les criminelles Hutus.

Cet incident m’a beaucoup surpris ; c’était la première fois qu’un Burundais a divergé du narrative nationale de « nous devons nous réconcilier, avoir la paix, et avoir les élections paisibles » Ils critiquent souvent le gouvernement, et sont inquiétés des élections – surtout parce qu’ils ont peur que le gouvernement va essayer de tricher. Mais cet homme est le premier d’exprimer la haine ethnique dans le présent, ou de dire que le pays a besoin de plus de violence. A un niveau il a peut-être raison – ce n’est pas juste de concentrer sur les anciens combattants en place des civiles qui ont souffert dans la guerre. Mais mon travaille avec CEDAC et les autres partenaires du Survivor Corps en Burundi j’ai eu contacte avec plusieurs gens qui peut être considéré comme les ‘victimes’, qui participent dans leurs programmes – et, de plus, les histoires des survivants comme Arcade montre qu’il n’existe pas une vrai distinction entre les ‘victimes’ et les ‘criminelles malignes qui doivent être comparu devant le CPI’. Et, de plus, je crois que le meilleur moyen d’aider tous les Burundais est d’empêcher un retour au conflit – et si on veut faire ça, on doit donner les options aux anciens combattants. J’espère que cet homme est une exception – mais je dois me demander si, sous le surface, il y a plusieurs gens qui pensent dans la même manière. Je pense des jeunes avec qui j’ai parlé a Kinaba – qui ont rejeté la haine pour reconstruire leur pays, et je réalise l’importance de continuer de travailler pour le réconciliation.

Clairance Mpawenimana

The whole time I’m talking to Clairance Mpawenimana, I’m struggling not to cry. Not because of what she says, but because of what she’s not saying. She has been introduced to me as a survivor of Gender Based Violence, but although we talk at length about the war and her experiences during that period, GBV remains the elephant in the room; as we approach the subject, she looks away, and I can’t push her further.

Introducing herself, she tells me that she has just finished secondary school, and hopes to go to university next year to study humanities. She was only a child in 1993, but children remember things and the images return. She was living in Kinaba at the time, one of the most affected areas, and she remembers seeing people killed because of their ethnicity, something she didn’t understand at the time (this is common in Burundi; many survivors relate that the first time they knew their ethnicity was when they lost relatives in one of the various periods of massacres). Because there was war in the quartiers, they fled to the mountains, and when they were bombarded there, to Congo; you have to be pretty desperate for Congo to seem like a safe haven. Life there was difficult, but they survived, and, eventually, they were able to come home.

On their return, they found that the family was dispersed, with many dead. She felt wounded, angry and defeated, and was depressed about hers and the country’s future. However, through involvement with CEDAC, she was given six months of training by Search for Common Ground. This was vital in helping her heal her body and spirit, and helped her finally to forgive her former enemies. They were trained to promote unity and be a good example in their communities, something she has tried to do through her work with CEDAC,where she participates in peer support meetings and tries to spread CEDAC’s message in her wider community. Turning back to the war, she says that she still finds it hard to understand what happened, but says that the priority must be to ensure that they never return to that position. She says that the future will be better if all Burundians changed their ideas. She has high hopes for the elections in 2010; although there are obstacles, she feels that only a few have bad ambitions and she hopes that the majority will prevail. She hopes to be a part of changing these ideas, and in helping CEDAC’s work of using the forces use for destruction to rebuild her country.

Listening to Clairance share her story and her hopes for the future has been humbling. She is younger than me, but has faced more than I can imagine, and has picked herself up, and is now trying to help others in her community do the same. Talking to her, I desperately want to wave a magic wand and make this whole country better, but, unfortunately that isn’t an option. Instead, I hope that by empowering young people like Clairance to claim peace and rebuild their country, we can contribute to ensuring that no more young people have to go through these things – in this country at least.

There is very little about Bujumbura that looks like a country emerging from a civil war. The buildings are shiny and new, the main roads smooth, it has a snazzy new airport terminal, new buildings are going up everywhere, and the people are no different from those in any other small African city. This is fitting; Burundi has made enormous strides in the last few years, successfully integrating some rebels into the army and demobilising the rest, holding successful multiparty elections, and expanding free primary education nationwide for the first time.

Looking deeper, the impact of the war is clear. There are the physical hints; like in Northern Uganda, every other car bears the logo of an NGO or international organisation, and Burundians seem to use the word ‘Peace’ in signs for everything from supermarkets to Forex bureaus. It is also clear in the lack of development in the city; compared to other regional capitals, such as Kampala or Kigali, Bujumbura is tiny, and underdeveloped. While driving home we see people washing in the drainage ditches in the middle of the road; a sure sign of poverty. But more importantly, when people talk, they refer back to the war. Pierre Claver, the country director of Survivor Corps, who I will be working with this summer, tells me that all of his siblings abandoned the Catholic Church for Protestantism, ‘because of the war’. I share a Primus (or seven) with my hosts, Nana and Bryan, and some of their friends, and the conversation turns to the war – talk of bullets overhead, bombs landing, and arrests for breaking curfew. In the afternoon we meet General Joseph, a former rebel now working for the government on the DDR programme. I am expecting someone middle aged or older, but to my surprise he is no older than his mid-thirties; war makes young leaders. He is, however, fascinating to talk to; he tells us that they are currently working with between 33,000 and 35,000 former combatants of all ethnicities, ages and genders.

We also met Eric, director of CEDAC, an umbrella organisation for former combatants, a massively motivated man who is working for free alongside his studies, committed to promoting reconciliation between former combatants of different sides, and their victims. He talks about the need to get the two sides talking, to provide economic alternatives to violence, and about the Peaceful Elections campaign, where former combatants are trained to promote the importance of democracy and peaceful elections.

Both of these early meetings have left me profoundly optimistic about Burundi’s future, But perhaps the most hopeful sign came in the conversation with my hosts, when Bryan’s brother, who lives in Canada and who hasn’t returned to Burundi in the last ten years, told me that he has been back twice in the last two years, and is thinking of returning to Burundi with his family. Although I am aware that the situation will appear differently in rural areas, I am very much look forward to meeting some of the survivors who work with Survivor Corps and CEDAC, and helping tell some of their stories about the work they are doing to promote peace in the country.