Today is my last day in Prishtina. This past week I have: moved from my apartment, given up my cat, and said good-bye to many friends. All of this has made me (typically) emotional. Saying good-bye and, again sleeping on the couch in the office, has caused me discomfort. Not the kind of discomfort experienced by the other interns in countries, like Israel/Palestine where bombs threaten civilian lives; but, a much more subtle discomfort that is necessary for facilitating any real connection.

Last entry I spoke of advocacy and keeping informed; this is, of course, essential but learning does not cause any discomfort and so it can only be a first step. I am thinking now of the paper I will write regarding the war here and the effectiveness of the internet in ending that war. My thesis is that images of refugees and destroyed
buildings was helpful to ending the Serbian occupation but not at all helpful for the people. It is one thing to passively watch and bear witness from your computer - it is quite another to feel the cold steal of a gun barrel against your cheek. No image, written word, or streaming video can replace the impact discomfort has on our humanity
when confronted with injustice in person.

This is the second step of advocacy - ACTION. I am not suggesting that each and every advocate for peace a justice must travel to volunteer their time for 3 months of civil society work; I am saying that each of us has daily opportunities to take action. Those actions which we take that cause us discomfort will inevitably have the biggest impact on our lives and the lives of the people we serve.

At City Year (Americorps program I was in last year) my discomfort came in the form of an ugly uniform and PT in Union Station. At school I find discomfort not only in heaps of reading, but also in protest. I protest in the rain or I stand with Code Pink (women's organization for peace) for hours in vigil at the White House. I brush off insults: how 'un-American' I am to the conservatives; and, to the Europeans, what a wasteful, war mongering country I come from.

Here, my discomfort comes from forming relationships, friendships, which will shape my perspective for the rest of my life and then having to leave. My heart aches with discomfort and so I know that this has been one of the most meaningful experiences of my adult life. I am leaving; with a host of professional documents for my portfolio,
with a suitcase full of Avjar, but most importantly with my memories (both the happy and discomforting ones).

Enough sappiness - I only want to say, if you truly wish to advocate for an impact you must take action. Call your Congressman, join a protest, volunteer, donate money; but, again, know that the best of all actions cause you discomfort. That is my challenge to my readers: BE UNCOMFORTABLE, even for one day, in service of others and see how it changes your thinking.

To Igo, Cuca, Besa, Alba, and Nicole (many others as well): thank you for making my experience in Kosova so wonderful. Thank you for your dedication to your country and the women who make it strong. Thank you for the laughter and tears. Thank you for your support. Mostly, thank you for your friendship. Good luck, keep in touch, and call me when you are picking new interns - I'll interview candidates on the phone from the US to see if they are up to par!

To my readers: there are still some kinks to be worked out, but the new website should be up and running by the beginning of September, check out all the work of KWN (and me) on the new website.

Amazing. As I am writing this blog I am actually taking a break from the press release I should be writing. It's about the big website launch (August 25th); it's happening in two weeks, only 2 days before I go home. It's so fitting that this last project has been the most time consuming and will now doubt have the biggest impact; but, it's so hard that it ends now. Three months, just one summer, and what happens after. I am so confidant in Alba and her ability to take this project on and I am nervous to let it go at the same time. Emailing is one thing, and I know I will be involved; but, I just can't get over that I won't be there for the big pay off.

It's totally selfish, I know, for me to be thinking in these terms; but, just as I leave KWN will be launching the new site, hosting a regional conference as the Women's Peace Coalition, and starting to pass out all those pamphlets I made! I'm gonna miss it all. I also want to be here to work after these first exciting events – to get the contact list working on public relations initiatives; to look into some more funding opportunities for capacity building; to utilize these tools that I have left behind. That sounds totally self absorbed, I know. But, I really feel like the templates and changes I have made will positively affect the way KWN does business. What makes me really nervous is the idea that nothing I've done is going to make a significant change. I redesigned the website, (big deal); I made their emails and documents look pretty, (so what); I did a few trainings, (what do you know); but - I also wrote a bunch, (who will really read it). There is no way to know, so we'll all just have to wait and see.

This has been a great summer. I'm ready to go home; but, it seems like I am just getting to make a life here. It's really amazing how a place becomes home. Streets that once seemed scary are now my main shopping drags, and I am a regular at cafes that seemed too "Albanian posh" to enter. Now I get to pick it up and start over again in my old city; with a new job and a fresh semester. If you know anyone who needs an intern at about 15 dollars an hour/35 hours a week, give me a call. I'll be in DC by Labor Day. (just kidding)

Thanks for coming with me on this little journey. I'll write again before I leave – but, I just wanted to express my gratitude to an audience who is obviously concerned with the world and the individuals who make it up. The fact is that advocacy only works with a receptive audience. This is the first step, learning. The second step is working – but, more on that in my next (last) blog.

Before I begin my blog for the week I wanted to make note of a news story I heard on BBC World Report today. They brought experts on the Balkan region to discuss the recent actions by the Security Council regarding Kosova's political status. The basic gist is that Serbia is posturing to the international community; if Kosova is independent it will mean more war. Most experts (and non-experts) agree that this is impossible because of Serbia's economic situation and the desire to enter the EU. It was a well rounded and well-informed story – so if you would like to know more please visit BBC and look up the article. I will have a bit more commentary on the situation as soon as I can make a coherent sentence about it.

Central to the mission of KWN is advocacy and networking with organizations worldwide for peace and women's rights. I have already spoken about the Women's Peace Coalition (WPC), a joint project between the Women in Black, Serbia and KWN. Most recently, KWN has embarked on a new cooperation called the Women's Lobby for Peace, Security and Justice in South East Europe. The group brings together a diverse group of women from Albania, Bosnia Herzegovina, Croatia, Kosova, Macedonia, Montenegro, and Serbia; they are representatives from government, civil society, media, and regional political parties. Most recently they issued a statement condemning the recent actions (or inaction) in Lebanon. The statement they issued to the international press follows:

Zagreb, July 19, 2006 – Women's Lobby for Peace, Security, and Justice in South East Europe wholeheartedly supports appeal of the International Women's Commission (IWC) for a Just and Sustainable Peace between Israel and Palestine of July 13, calling an end to the violence in Israel, Lebanon, and the Occupied Palestinian Territory.

A group of women political leaders and women's rights activists from countries of South East Europe still struggling to recover from the aftermath of a brutal war, met in Zagreb, Croatia on 15-19 July 2006 with support from UNIFEM, to deliberate recent and ongoing political developments in their countries and their implication for peace and security for the region's citizens, and for women in particular.

Following intensive dialogue, the group decided to establish a regional Women's Lobby for Peace, Security and Justice in South East Europe dedicated to advocating for political action to advance peace and stability in South East Europe as well as for full implementation of UN Security Council Resolution 1325 (October, 2000) that calls upon all state parties to ensure increased representation of women at all decision-making levels.

On the background of resurging violence in the Middle East, the South East Europe Women's Lobby expresses its alarm at the absence of national, regional and international leadership in bringing the violence in Lebanon, Israel and Palestine to a halt. The Lobby urges political leaders to heed the call of the IWC, as well as involve its members, themselves leaders and experts that are capable in supporting mediation efforts aimed at encouraging all parties to restart political dialogue and negotiation.

Women's Lobby for Peace, Security, and Justice in South East Europe members:

Albania Marieta Zaqe
Deputy Minister in the Ministry of Social Welfare and Equal Opportunities

Bosnia and Herzegovina
Memnuna Zvezdic
Director of Zene Zenama

Croatia
Gordana Sobol
Head of the Parliamentary Commission for Gender Equality

Morana Palikovic
Head of Members from HNS political party in Zagreb City Assembly, Head
of Municipal Committee for National Minorities

Kosova
Nekibe Kelmendi
Head of the Parliamentary Commission for Public Services, Local
Administration and Media

Edita Tahiri
Head of Democratic Alternative of Kosova, Member of the Kosova Women's Lobby

Teuta Sahatqija
Vice President of ORA political party, Chief of the parliamentarian group of ORA

Igballe Rogova
Executive Director of Kosova Women's Network, Member of the Kosova
Women's Lobby

Macedonia
Irina Pockova
President of Women's Chapter of Social Democratic Alliance political
party in Sv. Nikola

Montenegro
Nada Drobnjak
Director of the Office for Gender Equality in Office of the Prime Minister

Serbia
Sonja Biserko
Helsinki Committee for Human Rights

Natasa Kandic
Human Rights Fund

Slavica Stojanovic
Member of Women in Black

Click here to read AP's press release on the new Lobby.

I have not blogged in, what feels like, a very long time. This is, in part, because there is not much exciting news coming out of Kosova in these past few weeks. It is also because I have been very busy trying to finish what I have started before I leave and go back to my life in Washington. When I first signed on to be a field consultant for AP they asked us to write out a time table for our work dictating our priorities over the summer. My main goal was to help KWN re-brand itself; using the principles from the existing organizational identity in a new, more inclusive way. To do this I have created fact sheets, pamphlets, and templates while training the staff on the importance of utilizing these resources in all outside correspondences as a means of capacity building.

Currently, I am chin deep in the re-organization of the KWN website. It is good that this be my final project here. Through my work over the past 2 months I have gained the trust of the ladies at KWN. I think they know that I am invested in them; not just for the duration of my internship, but for the long term. When the English version of the new website is live, I will really feel like I have made a significant contribution to the work here in Kosova because this website is my design and my work. But, I am finding what will be my most sustainable contribution is the training I am doing.

I am training Alba, the part-time public relations person, in website maintenance and how best to utilize the website in her work. She is excited and learning quickly. Alba is a natural at public relations; but, she lacked the mentorship of an experienced professional to guide the progress of her work. I am certainly not that professional, but I have had many mentors in the corporate and non-profit sector; and, what I took from them I am passing to Alba. This training aspect of my internship was what intimidated me the most. I was afraid that I would not be able to teach what I knew and, more significantly, that I did not know much in the first place. I did not want my inexperience to negatively affect KWN or the future job status of my friend. My fears were completely unfounded.

What has surprised me is just how much I do, actually, know and how easy it is to teach to a receptive audience. Alba listens and gives me feedback. She innovates old PR ideas to fit KWN needs and capacity – she works with unflagging dedication to this organization and to making it better for the future. I am confidant that, when I leave, Alba will take the basic principles we worked on and spearhead a new chapter in KWN history. I am also confidant that, after I leave Kosova, I will not be disengaged from KWN. I expect (or perhaps hope) that I will get emails in January about changing something on the website or using the fact sheet templates.

This exchange, after the actual internship ends, is the true genius of AP's internship program. I am invested in the future of KWN and of Kosova because I have worked 12-hour days. I have sipped wine and talked about human trafficking over dinner, and I have bought into the importance of KWN for the future of Kosova and for peace and conflict resolution worldwide.

When we talk about blackouts here Kosovars tend to look at me with a worried face, exclaiming, "I know, these blackouts. They have not been this frequent in a very long time. Are you ok?" It seems, with my arrival the blackouts became more and more frequent – and in these past weeks, since I've moved into my new "new apartment", they happen at least once a day.

Phones too, are sometimes an unreliable service, occasionally useless because the network is down. Even something as basic to society as water, is (in some areas) cut off occasionally. This can seem innocuous; creating small issues any reasonable person can work around. But, when they are persistent, and lasting these inconsistent services severely undermine the safety of the population by creating an extreme situation. They create tension in homes, they leave streets dark and scary, and they cut off communication between citizens and the police.

It's not like, before I moved to Kosova, I never had problems with my cell phone or been in a blackout. Quite the contrary, but never has it been such a consistent part of my daily life: in casual conversation, in the way I make my coffee, and in the likely hood of having had a bath. (I just don't like to sit in the tub in the dark).

Some comparisons can be made between the tensions here in reaction to status talks. People are worried, though they don't talk about it much, they are worried that decisions made by the Security Council will elevate tensions and lead to violence. Not necessarily in Prishtina, but in villages that geographically, historically, and
culturally are intimately tied (in a negative way) to Serbia.

The threat of violence in Kosova, like the blackouts, seems like a thing of the past in the minds of residents. It would be a disappointing shock to most locals if they saw more violence in their country. With both, they would worry about the safety of their friends and the future of their country. But the extreme political situation here keeps the threat of violence in the back of the minds of most of the people I know.

But life goes on in the dark, just as the status talks will resolve themselves eventually in one way or another. People here understand that there are some things that you simply cannot control. You can work to make change, but the ultimate end will not be decided by citizens.

The only thing to do is prepare and look to find ways to overcome hardship. I heard stories about the people in the refugee camps using black plastic trash bags to warm water for showers. Here, during nighttime blackouts children chase passers-by with flashlights from the balcony. I hope that the status talks come to a peaceful and just end. I hope that the work of civil society here is enough to satisfy the needs of the public and provide a voice for disgruntled citizens. I hope that if there is violence, the people of Kosova will have the strength to stand together for peace.

Today, Igo and Cuca allowed me to come with them for a field visit in Prizren. We went to implement the first phase of the Code of Conduct for member organizations. Prizren is a small city with 18 member organizations in the surrounding area – about 15 of them came to the meeting. The issues they work on are diverse and wide ranging from providing a home for the physically and mentally challenged to assisting domestic violence survivors.

In Prizren, the member organizations are organized and modern; this is not necessarily true for all of our members in the villages. This poses some complications for the Code of Conduct which dictates a modern and seemly complex way of running an organization. The code represents international standards; but, for many of these organizations, sometimes operated by family members out of houses, common practices like producing an annual report and actively engaging their board can seem unnecessary (if not just a pain).

In the planning for these meetings (there are many which I will not be at) Igo and Cuca stressed that implementing the code must be handled delicately. They understood that no member organization would have the code fulfilled in one month, even a year. This is a process. The first meetings are simply to explain the code, gather some programming information and get the members to commit to implementation, by signing. For them, it is vital to reassure organizations that this
will help them in the long run and that they would not be expected to work any miracles.

The meeting began with Igo recounting the bravery and strength of activists. She talked about the movement that began in the camps and has gained phenomenal momentum on the backs of the women sitting around our conference table. "We could not cry then, for our losses…I cry sometimes now, because in 7 years since the war we have all been working so hard and did not have time to cry." She went on to explain that civil society in Kosova is at a critical point. Now, they not
only have time to cry and reflect on the hard times of their life but to look forward with their organizations and create a system of civil society that is theirs; through capacity building. She talked about the Code of Conduct as a tool for this change to both protect and help the member organizations grow.

Members had questions and they were nervous about committing to anything which might in the future affect how they interact with KWN. They wanted to hold onto their organizational autonomy, but they wanted the help and instruction – after all that's the whole point in being part of a network. Together, Igo and Cuca went around answering questions and explaining the benefits of a code. They helped the women fill out a questionnaire about the work they do and we ended the
meeting in a typical Kosovar fashion – with coffee.

Everyone was excited, even the representative from Kwinna till Kwinna who had tagged along. With the skilled work of Cuca and Igo the members saw this as an opportunity to take their organizations to another level and continue their missions in a way they never thought possible before. With status talks quickly drawing to a conclusion a period of change is coming to Kosova – KWN is helping their members prepare their work for this change.

This action also represents a big step for KWN. With the new public relations push I am working on with Alba – concrete information about the members is vital. She and I are: creating a comprehensive contact list for the lobbying efforts of all members, reorganizing the website to highlight members more effectively, and producing external materials for the international community. The information gathered in these member visits will help us to effectively market both KWN and
all of the members.

received an email from a friend (who will remain nameless) asking me to define the acronyms EU and KWN. The first I could laugh off, but the second killed me because it seemed I have not used this medium as well as I should. Having successful garnered a bit of international attention with my rants, I think it is beyond the time to share the story of the Kosova Women’s Network (KWN).

Like most of civil society’s history, KWN truly began with a small action that became a movement. This is a story, told orally and now written of two sisters, Igballe and Safete Rogova, who responded to the abject poverty in the rural areas of Kosova with small tokens: clothing, books, etc.[1] In order to continue their work the sisters wanted to document who received what and how much. They asked the women of the village to sign their names to a log book. The women responded by telling the sisters that they could not read or write. The check points set up by the Milosevic regime had made traveling to and from distant schools nearly impossible. The Rogova sisters left the village, vowing, to themselves, to answer this need.

From that initial interaction came, “Motrat Qiriazi” (MQ)[2] an organization founded in 1990 by the Rogova sisters and Safete’s husband, Nuredin. They brought books and set up libraries. They organized classes in local villages. News of their successes spread like wildfire within the Kosova parallel system[3]. People wanted to duplicate the success in their own villages, and by 1991 there were over 64 branch organizations. Sensing growing tension, and despite the ridicule they received, MQ registered with the Serbian government and were issued passports which allowed them to travel (not freely mind you - but to travel) and do their work.

MQ flourished as an organization; working with esteemed groups like the Paraplegic Association (later Handikos), and the Mother Theresa Humanitarian Association within the Parallel system to address health and literacy needs. Progress halted with two devastating events. Nuredin died of a heart attack while speaking on the importance of education and Igballe, forced to flee months earlier because a report she gave detailing the poisoning of children was deemed illegal by her new government. She moved to Albania to work and Safete could not go on alone.

While in Albania (1994-95) Igballe joined the Women in Black, and their activism fed the passions of Safete. When Igballe returned, together, they invigorated MQ in the Has region of Kosova. Using culture, books, songs and theater MQ spread a message throughout Kosova; that education was vital. As the anti-Milosevic movement grew, their message became, “the pen is our best weapon!” Taking the queue, other women’s organizations immerged and they all sought the expertise of the Motrat Rogova (Rogova Sisters).

As a result, another organization, “The Rural Women’s Network” (RWN) began as an informal grouping of NGOs for information and strategy sharing: there were five, Aureola, Elana, Legienda, Liria, and MQ. Everyone was working together to oppose the repression. Using cunning, and charm these women’s[4] NGOs were able to move about the country even when the full wrath of Milosevic was taking hold of the Balkans.

By 1998, 10 thousand civilians had been killed by the Serbian forces. The focus of the RWN shifted to bringing food and medical supplies. Strategies were organized in the offices of The Center for Protection of Women and Children; and, at great threat of physical violence, the women of RWN organized the Drenica Bread March to bring food to the people first forced into the camps. Igballe recalls that she could not guarantee the bread reached the refugees, but the images of women carrying loaves were like candy to the international press.

Outside of the camps and within; the, organizations of RWN worked to serve the people. They brought food, medical supplies, media attention and much needed distraction. Despite the protests of other international organizations[5], local women organized singing parties, therapy sessions, plays and dances, haircuts and self defense courses. These women responded to the needs of the refugees; both physical and mental. They provided the services that turn victims into survivors.

The conditions of all the camps were difficult to bear, and fear of death was common, but the women of civil society in Kosova stayed (even when their connections afforded them access out), because their help was needed. In one instance Igballe, with the help of a cell phone and key international friends, organized a nonviolent standing protest to bring light to the situation of the refugees. They simply shouted “help”; in front of every international press camera in Macedonia. This civil pressure helped spur the political pressure which eventually persuaded the Macedonian government to allow refugees into their country.

After the camps were emptied and the refugees returned to their homes problems persisted and the revolution, which began ten years earlier, continued to grow and mature.

More to come as the formation of the United Nations Mission in Kosovo is established, international aid money flows like water, and the reconciliation struggles to begin.

[1] The revocation of Kosova’s autonomy from Serbia in 1989 brought with it job loss and massive poverty.

[2] The “Mortrat Qiriazi” or “Sisters Quiriazi” were two Albanian sisters who dedicated their lives to educating people (especially women). They are a source of inspiration for most of civil society in Kosova.

[3] A system of government set up by Kosovars to opposed Serbian rule and take care of their infrastructural needs. Women played a significant part in the Parallel System/

[4] Women were seen as less threatening then their male counterparts – the fact that they were women worked both for and against The Rural Women’s Network on many occasions.

[5] Perhaps with both good and bad intentions international organizations hoped to capture images of weeping women to better solicit international funds for their international aid.

I wanted to step off my soap box for this next blog and tell you about KWN; but I am appalled, and I cannot hold my tong. Today (June 28, 2006), just one week after the Women's Peace Coalition (the joint organization between the Serbian Women in Black and Kosova Women's Network) met in Belgrade, is the anniversary of the 'Battle of Kosova'. This nationalistic Serbian holiday is being celebrated by the Prime Minister of Serbia in the heart of Kosova, Prishtina. On the BBC world service, (which I thankfully still can listen to via the Internet) Minister Vojislav Koštunica, said "I am here to support the Serbians living in Kosova who are subject to discrimination, physical beatings, and the burning of their houses." He goes on to claim that his visit was kept low profile for fear of retaliation from the Ethnic Albanians in Kosova. Let me say, having lived here, he lies.

I want to use this medium to bear witness to his lies. I have never seen or heard about ethnically charged violence against Serbs or Ethnic Albanians living in Kosova – NEVER. Nor, do the Kosovars I have spoken to care one way or another what the Prime Minister does – as long as the final political status of Kosova is one of absolute sovereignty.

I will explain what I have witnessed. I have witnessed the ethnically diverse KWN member organizations (representing Serb, Roma, Albanian, and Bosniac organizations throughout Kosova) uniting under one Code of Conduct to increase transparency and document successes. I have witnessed the joining of women's groups; which, divided by politics, history, and geography stand in solidarity to wage peace throughout the Balkans. I have witnessed government officials blaming violence, perpetrated by their police in Krusha, on 'ethnic tension' and then issuing an apology after the lobbying efforts of KWN. I have witnessed hate speech, with no basis in reality, like that of Prime Minister Koštunica, facilitate the bureaucracy which holds Kosova in economic and political stagnation. Not to mention further dividing all the Kosovar people who are rebuilding their lives after the devastation of war.

I would never censor the speech of another person, a Prime Minister especially; but, I must react. This disgusting, blasphemous lie
cannot go unanswered – I only wish I was interviewed on BBC. So just to clarify, the people of Kosova are PEACEFUL people – trying to reconcile differences and a painful history together. Don't believe the hype!

Identity is a complicated instrument. Psychologists use it to understand various behaviors in the human condition. In public relations and marketing it is used to sell products or ideas to specific groups. In politics, we use it to both express our beliefs and create cooperative opposition to beliefs we do not hold. I believe, for the most part, we use identity to create small, comfortable, communities in a large world. Our religious beliefs, politics, choice of entertainment, sexual orientation, gender, sex, financial status, skin color, hometown, and personal style (abbreviated list); all, say something about how we identify ourselves and how we would like others to identify us.

Personally, I am a: agnostic, liberal democrat, TV lovin, heterosexually born woman, who calls herself a feminine-feminist. I am white, and I grew up in a middle class family in a little town called Georgetown; where I honed my sophisticated yet trendy look. These examples are trivial but they are part of who I am – and to some identifying these specific characteristics are incredibly controversial. I am proud of who I am. Like everyone in this world, I am a product of my past, my surroundings, my genes, my peers, and my family (not to mention a hefty dose of propaganda fed by mass media). I use identity to find like minded people and to celebrate the differences of others. While not everyone is celebrating, like they should; we are all classifying ourselves and others because humans, by nature, are social animals.

The Kosovars that I have met also identify themselves; as strong people, as fun loving people, as dancers, as women and men, as Ethnic Albanians, as drinkers and abstainers, as cooks and parents, as doctors, and as activists. They are a diverse harmonization of Kosovar identity – and they only represent a small portion. They are proud of their identity as well; perhaps even more so, because they, unlike me, have to fight for identity in talks concerning the political status of their country with UNMIK, Serbia, the EU and a plethora of other actors.

Identity plays a huge role in these talks. Nationalist and religious identity spurred the plan for Milosevic's ethnic cleansing throughout the former Yugoslavia. Those who are now survivors of this rampage of hate, identify themselves as such. The survivors ability to live above his destruction, while never forgetting their history, helps define the group today. Even regarding logistical issues, identity plays a part. Minority identity requires certain conditions for the Serb Kosovars who still live in Prishtina (representing about 10% of the population); and, United Nations Security Council Resolution 1325 identifies the unique perspective of women as vital to forming a new government.

Complications arise because the needs or beliefs one identity can, too often, be in direct contrast with another. Here, while the Serbs are the minority, the Ethnic Albanians find it abhorrent to compromise their property and history to suit the needs of this minority. The UN seeks to identify itself as a "women friendly" organization – but too often their help falls painfully short in reality.

How I identify myself as an American and an international, here, is the polar opposite of the current administrations international identity. This is both an internal and external conflict. Although I am not proud of the comparison, I have been reading articles from the Serbian resistance, and I identify with them. Having fought their government, with little success, they became lumped into a group that did hold their values and were subsequently bombed. Some very important and defining characteristics aside, I identify with their struggle to redefine their identity to the international community.

That's the trouble with identity; you may define yourself one way while others define you quite differently. The media coverage of the Kosovar refugees is a great example. On our TV's: women, children and men were cast into certain media friendly roles. The widow, the lost child, the active militia – all these identities did exist but did not wholly define the refugees. In the camps there was singing and mourning – both together, and both a critical part of existence. There was an organized Kosovar army, but they had to hire a PR company to tell the world they were not terrorists – but freedom fighters. Children were lost, yes, but the community of people in camps took them on as family. Despite the loss of personal identity, replace by an ID number, the Ethnic Albanians of Kosova held strong their community.

Thinking on this, I am reminded of a good friend; who, when defined as something he was not, simply stated "I do not subscribe to that". These are simple words with a powerful lesson for civil society. KWN will not let member organizations be defined by media perceptions of what a post war society 'should act like'; or what the UNMIK says they 'should need in the way of aid programs'. They subscribe to their own identities, serving their needs and finding like minded individuals (like the Women in Black of Serbia) to stand in solidarity with.

We need our identity to unite us; and, I think, if we search long enough, we can use identity to surpass the differences between us. We make individual decisions to "subscribe", or not, to perceptions of our personal identity. I do not have to subscribe to my countries foreign policy to be proud of my citizenship because there are so many wonderful and quirky commonalities among the American population.

This is especially potent when you are an American living abroad. In the end we all can identify with our humanity; if we recognize it in each other and not subscribe to the hate our differences sometimes
cause.

When I hear Igo’s speeches, read some of her letters, and listen to what she has said in causal correspondence with foreign representatives - it is all I can do not to vocally gasp. Blunt simply does not describe it – she directly ‘calls out’ almost everyone she has meetings with. Contrast that to the way she talks to women seeking assistance from KWN; where she speaks gently, sitting close with an uncharacteristic passivity to listen more intently.

I am always surprised at the stark differences between the business of NGOs in the US and those here. I have mentioned coffee and slippers – but Igo’s language is another. Constantly attending meetings, she comes back to the office looking haggard with one story or another about an international twit, a pompous UN visitor, or an unresponsive government official (I’m using slightly softer language than she does). They chide her and mock the dedicated work of civil society in Kosova with their inaction. Her response to the bureaucracy, which prevents any real change in Kosova, is absolute silence or absolute rage. She told me a story of how she responded, less than diplomatically, when an official, in an extreme example of the disrespect she faces, referred to her as ‘barking like a dog’. (I will not share with all of the internet community her response out of respect to our confidence; but, I think she would laugh if I did.).

Today she came home from a meeting regarding Kosova status talks, where she was there to represent civil society. Responding as both a citizen and the Executive Director of an NGO, Igo spoke of our issues and answered questions. When she called herself a citizen – they told her she was here to represent civil society as an organization. When she responded as the Executive Director, they told her she was answering as a self interested NGO. Who is civil society, if not the combination of those two? What can you do in this situation? How do you work with leaders who refer to you as a friend over dinner and leave you decimated after any meeting with UNMIK?

This is not to say the more diplomatic NGOs have anymore luck getting the government to their issues, per say. I know all to well the struggle, in America, to find funding and support. Those NGOs remain diplomatic because small successes fuel the civil system; and diplomacy, (for them) brings small successes. Here, according to almost everyone I have talked to, the first 7 years of KWN correspondences were examples of the utmost diplomacy; without any results. Now, while they chide, government officials are at least listening (if only to hear what she will say next). Having the voice of civil society listened to is a small success that will fuel the movement in Kosova.

Igo's ferocity is, obviously, not without warrant given the hostile diplomatic situations she too often finds herself in. The impressive part is that she is not ferocious in order to defend herself. She is defending: Besa, Cuca, and Alba, the KWN staff that work tirelessly to make the organization run, every KWN member organization that fights to make their programs better, and every woman who wants a voice in her social and political system.

Her methods seem unorthodox to me, but I am no one to judge. The struggle to maintain the thriving civil society in Kosova rests in the hands of dedicate people who, at this point, are sick of taking (for lack of a better word) crap from self important people and the constraints of bureaucracy. I won’t be writing anything more stern than this blog (because I’d still like a job when I get out of graduate school) but know that I support whatever language or actions are necessary for KWN to impart its message.

Today I am in Orhid, Macedonia; the jewel of the country, if you consult my Lonely Planet. Having not seen much else, save the mountain roads I traveled to get here, I would tend to agree. Orhid is a quaint, touristy, village by a very large lake that separates Macedonia from Albania. I came here in the KWN van with Igo and Nicole, who had planned a weekend for themselves across the border.

Yesterday though, I ventured out for an evening walk around Prishtina (I now know that I have been spelling it wrong all this time). Prishtina has many faces: the downtown, mostly occupied by internationals and business people; the hillside, where mansions look down on the city; and the in-between, where most of the families live. The in-between, itself, is a surfeit of various neighborhoods. The traditional Muslim quarter teems with old men in white fedora-like hats and women covering their hair with colorful scarves. Up the rode from there is the green market, where you can find everything from hairdryers and unregistered phones to tomatoes and rugs from Turkey. I continued to walk from there, up a winding road to the outskirts of the city. There I found schools, soccer fields, and the gutted (or bombed) houses I have come to recognize as a typical site in Prishtina.

The decisions of our leaders, in cases of international intervention like Kosova, have much more weight than I think we realize as we watch the news and discuss politics. Clinton had a difficult time, as I recall, convincing the American people that our intervention was necessary in Kosova. I, myself, am always hesitant to send American troops into a volatile area. As a pacifist, I expect my leaders to use force only as a last result. In the case of Kosova, Clinton saw a NATO air strike as an alternative to sending in ground forces. It worked, and the expulsion of the Ethnic Albanians from Kosova by Milosevic was halted. For this, the Kosovars are eternally gratefully to America. The cost for Americans was minimal – for Kosovars, the war and our intervention cost homes, schools, hospitals, and cultural sites. When we hear about our interventions abroad (please, not including Iraq), I think we assume that we are only making things better. We do not understand the full hell of a war outside of our front doors. We cannot comprehend how it would feel to be forced from your home only to come back and find it destroyed. It’s a very intimate thing, to walk around this area of the city with my camera taking pictures of lives that used to be. Flyers depicting missing people still litter the walls of the city and it’s parliament – a constant reminder to those who are rebuilding their lives of those who cannot.

I got lost; in the pictures, my thoughts, and the winding streets that seem to lead to nowhere. I wandered; looking around hopefully for something I would recognize, without success. The sun slowly disappeared behind the mountain, leaving me and the men washing their cars alone in the dark. After about 3 hours, it was now close to 11, I finally found my way home via taxi. Though tired, I was glad to have had time to really reflect on the pain of the past and the hope for the future of Kosova.

Today, after Igo, Nicole and I ate and they left for their own vacation - I went off to walk the trail around the lake. As the paved, public, trail ended I saw a smaller dirt trail up a hill into the woods. The poem, The Road not Taken, by Robert Frost popped into my head. Forced to memorize it in 6th grade, the imagery and words have always stuck with me,

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could…

Then took the other, just as fair;

And having perhaps a better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear…”

I turned up the grassy path. After a 10 minute climb I was greeted with the most beautiful view of the lake from the cliff where I stood. Small stone steps left from the Byzantium era curled down the side of the cliff to a stone beach. Water lapped at my toes, lovers kissed behind me and the children playing giggled. It was just lovely.

The lesson from Frost has never been lost in me, but seems particularly poignant when I think of how I got to Kosova. Treading the road far from where, as a child, I dreamed to be at 25 has brought me so much joy, so much humility, and more perspective than I thought possible. The real lesson from Frost is that we cannot take both roads. We cannot see what will come; but, importantly, we must examine all paths before committing to a choice. If we all left the comfortable thoughts of international intervention to help “those people”, and let our minds truly reflect on the ramifications of action or inaction; then perhaps, as one world, we truly could claim to be stewards of humanity. “…and I - I took the road less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.”

This is one of my favorite topics. A few days ago I saw a movie, made by a local NGO, called Mirror, Mirror. If you took an educated guess, I imagine you’d get the gist of the film. Images of women in the media are over sexualized; women in positions of power are under represented, and the media is, generally, oppressive towards women.

As ever aspect of my academic and professional career deals with the media – I have discussed these points ad-nauseam. For the most part, my argument is that there are few cases of ‘negative imagines’ in the media. Except in extreme cases, where ultra-violent images are presented without context; I don’t think you can have a negative image. More to the point, I don’t believe that anyone should prohibit the creation, transmission, or reception of any image. In my school of thought, the problem is not the image itself – but the lack of alterative images. Speaking specifically about women in the media (and the influence of that media on children); I believe that most of the people who complain about Britney Spears gyrating in a provocative outfits are prudes with nothing better to do.

This movie did not change my mind. I still believe that the primary influencers on children are their peers and their parents. As ultimate authority figures, parents are responsible for monitoring the influences their children are exposed to; both in life and on TV. I understand that life prohibits parents from constantly watching over their children; but, through open discussion, well articulated rules, and lots of love parents can exert their influence even when they are not psychically there.

Discussing this with Nicole, she mentioned that the issues of women in the media might be more prominent in Kosova because kids here watch more TV (about 8 hours a day). I sincerely disagree. I don’t know the exact numbers, but experience tells me that most American children are watching at least 8 hours a day, if not more. Last night I thought about why, in Kosova, these issues might be direr.

Here’s my hypothesis, take it however you like. The importance of media (Radio Free Europe and Voice of America, most notably) during the war; as an escape, a source of information, and a harbinger of hope has bolstered the positive perception of media, in general, to Kosovar society. The parents of today’s Kosovar children have come to trust the media in those terms; and, most have yet to become too cynical. They precieve media today, in the same ways they used during the war and they pass those perceptions onto their children. Today, there are a lot more channel choices (satellites in almost every window) but not a lot of choices in content. Now, as opposed to hoping the international community would save them from genocide, they hope their children become famous singers or beauty queens. The result is: TV shows where 8-year-olds dance around like Britney Spears while their parents clap.

Again, the problem is not the image; but, the lack of alternative images and especially the lack of interest in the alternative. The movie touched one aspect of this – to its detriment. It claimed that there were no positive images of women on TV. Given what little I know about women’s civil society here – I know this cannot be entirely true. Igo is on TV, at least once a month, as a prolific female figure.

It is the choice, of every parent, to watch Igo making her speeches about UNMIK or to watch the soap opera from Italy. That choice gives weight to one image over the other in the child’s mind. Subsequently, the children emulate the soap star over a figure of an empowered woman. This is true all over the world – the sensational seems more interesting than reality.

Civil society struggles, here and everywhere, to maintain a presence in the mass media; but, to blame station managers for not allotting time to them is ludicrous. The people who work in mass media have one job, to make money. The bottom-line is what matters most. If, as individuals, we chose to inform ourselves with mass media then the content will self regulate – because providing what viewers want to watch is how a station makes money. I would add that, the state must play a role in providing initial exposure to thought provoking media; through public access, where civil society can produce its own shows.

Just some thoughts for you to chew on; and, now that I know everyone at KWN is reading my blog, this may provide for some boisterous coffee break conversation.

Today we had a visitor from New York City. I don’t know her name (because I don’t remember her really acknowledging my presence – despite my extended hand) but I do remember her, and not positively. She, is a public relations consultant (no official ‘job’ but she made it clear that she was an expert in public relations) and she is a member of the Kosovar Diaspora who spent a year here after college.

Now I’m getting ahead myself. First, I should explain how business is done in Kosova. All important business is done causally, with coffee and sometimes slippers. From what I can tell in my limited experience (at least at KWN) – the one who listens first is the one who is running the meeting and respect for your colleagues is of utmost importance. Kosovars in general, don’t seem to like people who say ‘I’ too much. When Ms. New York entered the KWN office, she did so with self ordained authority and no taste for Nescafe and cinnamon.

I busied myself with the brochure at the table while Ms. New York explained her plan for a BIG EVENT to bring community awareness regarding breast cancer and the need for annual mammograms. Her plan: invite doctors, Hilary Clinton, and Madeline Albright to a big rally and tell the women of Kosova to get a mammogram. The event would of course be after working hours (because all Kosova women have high powered jobs requiring their time during working hours). She wanted to bus the village women in from all over. She wanted to see hundreds of women gathered together; to talk about boobies. It was obvious to everyone, but her, that she knew very little about international healthcare development and the needs of the community.

As she talked, I could see Igo’s face grow tighter and Nexhmije growing weary. She wanted KWN to work for her on her event – and she would tell them exactly how it should be done; because she was a PR expert and no one in Kosova knew anything about PR. With this, Igo exploded. I won’t recount the whole conversation, but to say that Igo informed her that she knew what the women of Kosova would respond to and what they needed better than any PR consultant from New York.

I’ll say this. Having worked in PR myself (that’s part of the reason I am here) I see her point; to some extent. Big PR events, mass media campaigns, and world wide product launches are not common in Kosova. For her, that fact meant that Kosova people knew nothing about PR. She forgot the number one rule of PR (in more ways than one – if you know Igo you understand): know your audience, before you speak. Those campaigns are not common (especially among women’s civil society) because, unlike the US, they don’t make an impact on the target audience; everyday women.

Nor does a big launch event actually do anything to solve the problem. The problem is, access to healthcare; the problem is, an unacceptable number of people living far under the poverty line; the problem is, outsiders trying to tell Kosovars how to deal with the problems in Kosova. When asked about aftercare, follow-up, and why any village women would want to bus 3 hours for a 2 hour rally – Ms. New York said that we could discuss that later. Now, she wanted to discuss how to engage female community leaders. I thought, you just lost about 12 of them by insulting the women of KWN.

These people, who come to the table with nothing but hubris, give a bad name to those of us who are here to LEARN and TEACH. More than that, they alienate local leaders and perpetuate mistrust of the international community – making any genuine philanthropic efforts that much more difficult. As Nexhmije said, “let her do her event – it can’t hurt, but we won’t work with her. We will pick up and continue the work when she is gone.” I’m sure that she thinks she is helping (her resume), but that kind of help (the ignorant and self-interested kind), to me, is as bad as doing nothing.

It occurs to me, in the light of day and with the noise of the city below me, that I my have been a little negative in my last blog. What can I say, when an extrovert is cooped up in an apartment all day, alone, because of dismal weather – negative is what you get. In combination with the history of the region (which I am currently reading and is quite horrific), my statements came out a little melodramatic.

Let me elaborate a bit and perhaps I can better explain. This is a major city and, like so many New Yorkers, the people of Pristina go about their daily business with very little distraction. This of course is aside from the numerous coffee breaks (taken both at home and in cafés). It is not to say that poverty is not a problem and people are not traumatized by the war – but more that people LIVE above the problems facing Kosova.

Pristina is full of vital citizens who are active in their government, their extended families and the world at large. There is a dark history here; that is more than apparent. But more importantly, there is hope for a bright future.

More on KWN, later. For now, I think I will venture out (on this sunny but still cool day) to find a kebab.

I walk through the city here and I am sure I stick out, with my fakies (not so channel sunglasses) and my bright green top. The locals don’t smile much and I think it has a lot to do with the memories of the war only 7 years ago. Today is the anniversary of when the tanks left Pristina. I went walking to see if there was any celebration – but like most Europeans the people here are preoccupied with soccer. I did see some flags hanging (US, Kosova, and EU). It’s hard to imagine the little old man sitting drinking his coffee with a gun (automatics none the less) but from what I have heard during the occupation everyone had something to protect their homes.

The trauma from the war is still potent. No ones talks about religion, but they do talk about identity. They want to be known as Kosovars; not Albanians, not as Serbs and certainly not as the western stereotype of Muslims (you know, the nasty idea that every Muslim oppresses women, hates the US, and wants to kill the free market). They see the critical issues not addressed by privatization – but they want it none the less. They love, let me repeat love, the US and especially Bill Clinton. There is a huge poster of him on Clinton Blvd. along with some scattered posters of Wesley Clarke and Madeline Albright. We talk about US politics, but despite my fervor most will not speak badly about US foreign policy. There is too much gratitude for the action the US took in the late 90’s to even think about it.

The city is a contrast of the old and new. I have said this before about Rome, but here it is a different kind of contrast. It’s sadder. The older buildings are bombed in; some of the new ones are not finished (with exposed walls no heat or running water) but people live in them; the new buildings those with proper permits are all foreign occupied and owned…it seems the only people that can get a building permit are those without Kosova citizenships.

There are two periods of time according to most Kosovars: before the war and after the war. Before the war life was hard. They all were forced to learn Serbian and the fear of Milosevic was still potent. The struggle was for survival and for peace. After the war life is still hard for most – poverty is still a common bond. But the struggle, the struggle is to set things right. After the war the population of Pristina tripled. The city is overwhelmed with people and the social services in the city cannot support the need.

There are infrequent blackouts*. The first one happened two days ago. Igo called frantic, that I had no idea what to do. I explain that growing up in MA with frequent nor-easters has more than prepared me for a couple of hours without power.

*After the war, the power company has utilized the ‘ABC’ system. The parts of the country that pay their bills the most are “A”, then “B” and finally out in the country (where abject poverty is rampant) is “C”. Scheduled blackouts in the C section are common. You can imagine the impact a blackout has on a mobile healthcare unit, or a family. During the war there was no running water, heat, or electricity for over 78 days – so perhaps this is a cake walk. Regardless, it just seems unjust to alienate an entire sect of the population because they cannot pay their bill.

Unemployment is also a problem. The factories, from the days when Yugoslavia still existed, are shut down. Most of those with jobs work in the service industry (clothing stores, café’s, ect.). The issue is that aside from a few people – most make their coffee at home and buy clothes infrequently. Go into one expensive shops and for sure there are only internationals. The doctor who cleans the KWN office started her degree before the war and had to put it off during the war. Now she can’t find a job in Kosova, where she needs to take care of her elderly mother, so she cleans. She is happy to have an income at all because she doesn’t want to take from her brothers in Germany and England.

Each time I come to a country with limited economic resources I am amazed by the resilience of the people. They take of each other. They pride themselves on making gourmet meals in one pan on a propane cooker – and when push comes to shove any of the people I have met would take care of me like family if I needed it. Materialism is a nasty word in the US – no one likes to think of themselves as materialistic, but we all are by default. I don’t really know what to think (or say) about that; right now, it is only an observation.

Slowly, I am learning to write with the voice of KWN. It’s been through a series of drafts – shot down, redone and submitted. It’s ok because there is always a period of transition when you are learning what is important and what is not to an organization. I am getting more confidant in my writing, my sense of direction and my comfort level. I still haven’t got up the nerve to ask someone if I could take a picture of them – so you will have to contend with buildings for now. A little ‘meir dieta’ (good day) goes a long way in Pristina shops – so hopefully there will be people pictures soon.

Sorry if this is a bit scattered. There is a lot to take in; in only a few days. I am much better writing about the work of KWN – but part of being here is explaining everything so I will do my best to give you an idea of this beautiful and tragic country: its history, its culture, its people, its pride.

From the KWN office you can see the headquarters of the United Nations Mission in Kosovo (UNMIK) – the branch of the United Nations (UN) designated specifically to aid Kosova in establishing rule of law and international relations. As graduate students we are taught both to look critically but idealize the UN and all it stands for. Here though, working with KWN, my idealism has been squashed.

On May 25, 2006 members of the UNMIK police force assaulted over 36 Kosovar men, women and children from Krusha – the very people they are here to protect. The police were escorting a group of Serbians who used to live in the village. Uninformed of the visit and still traumatized by the massacre of 70% of the village’s male population in 1999, a group of women asked to speak with their former neighbors. When their request was refused the women formed a human blockade in the rode. Using batons and tear gas the police removed the women. Fighting back with stones, the women and others who came to help were hardly formidable opponents. Until today, the UN called the incident ethnic strife.

Igo, my supervisor and the Executive Director of KWN, was in Krusha within hours of the assault. She took statements from eye witnesses detailing what happened, created a report and presented it to Soren Jessen-Petersen (the Special Representative of the Secretary-General for Kosovo - SRSG). After weeks of ‘investigation’, nothing had been done to bring justice to the people of Krusha or to address the real issue at hand. The persistence of KWN to bring this injustice to light paid off in the daily paper where the SRSG publicly admitted the truth. Igo burst into the office this morning holding the paper up triumphantly; “this is us, this is our work”, she said. To my dismay she is not at all exaggerating. Without the personal accounts that KWN provided I do not believe that the truth would have come out. Only days before, the SRSG sent out a press release calling the actions of the police reasonable. I would ask, what is reasonable about blowing tear gas near a primary school?

This type of incident is not isolated. The bureaucracy and politics of UNMIK prevents it from governing properly (I should mention that Kosova is not a sovereign state, nor is it part of Serbia – it is completely under the control of UNMIK). Daily, KWN and thousands of other NGOs here (particularly women’s organizations) fight to be heard and to assist the UN in its mission; with only small successes. In light of the adversity facing women’s civil society organizations, and to stand in solidarity, KWN has formed a joint organization with the Serbian Women in Black: the Women’s Peace Coalition (WPC).

WPC spoke out against what happened in Kursha, and they are currently campaigning for protection of cultural sites throughout Bosnia, Kosova, and Serbia. Beyond the simple need to protect these historical sites physically – WPC aims to protect them from political abuse. In their statement WPC said, “…cultural sites are linked to the cultural heritage, history, and communities of all ethnic groups, and thus all ethnic groups have the right to share, preserve, and protect these heritage sites.” The fear is, after the final status of Kosova is decided, that politicians and land owners will uses these sites for personal and political gain.

I have lots of ‘alone time’ here: to reflect on my work, the work of KWN and WPC, as well as my perspective on international politics. I am disheartened, but not broken. I still believe that the work of individuals can make a difference for the better. The success of today is testament to that.

From the KWN office you can see the headquarters of the United Nations Mission in Kosovo (UNMIK) – the branch of the United Nations (UN) designated specifically to aid Kosova in establishing rule of law and international relations. As graduate students we are taught both to look critically but idealize the UN and all it stands for. Here though, working with KWN, my idealism has been squashed.

On May 25, 2006 members of the UNMIK police force assaulted over 36 Kosovar men, women and children from Krusha – the very people they are here to protect. The police were escorting a group of Serbians who used to live in the village. Uninformed of the visit and still traumatized by the massacre of 70% of the village’s male population in 1999, a group of women asked to speak with their former neighbors. When their request was refused the women formed a human blockade in the rode. Using batons and tear gas the police removed the women. Fighting back with stones, the women and others who came to help were hardly formidable opponents. Until today, the UN called the incident ethnic strife.

Igo, my supervisor and the Executive Director of KWN, was in Krusha within hours of the assault. She took statements from eye witnesses detailing what happened, created a report and presented it to Soren Jessen-Petersen (the Special Representative of the Secretary-General for Kosovo - SRSG). After weeks of ‘investigation’, nothing had been done to bring justice to the people of Krusha or to address the real issue at hand. The persistence of KWN to bring this injustice to light paid off in the daily paper where the SRSG publicly admitted the truth. Igo burst into the office this morning holding the paper up triumphantly; “this is us, this is our work”, she said. To my dismay she is not at all exaggerating. Without the personal accounts that KWN provided I do not believe that the truth would have come out. Only days before, the SRSG sent out a press release calling the actions of the police reasonable. I would ask, what is reasonable about blowing tear gas near a primary school?

This type of incident is not isolated. The bureaucracy and politics of UNMIK prevents it from governing properly (I should mention that Kosova is not a sovereign state, nor is it part of Serbia – it is completely under the control of UNMIK). Daily, KWN and thousands of other NGOs here (particularly women’s organizations) fight to be heard and to assist the UN in its mission; with only small successes. In light of the adversity facing women’s civil society organizations, and to stand in solidarity, KWN has formed a joint organization with the Serbian Women in Black: the Women’s Peace Coalition (WPC).

WPC spoke out against what happened in Kursha, and they are currently campaigning for protection of cultural sites throughout Bosnia, Kosova, and Serbia. Beyond the simple need to protect these historical sites physically – WPC aims to protect them from political abuse. In their statement WPC said, “…cultural sites are linked to the cultural heritage, history, and communities of all ethnic groups, and thus all ethnic groups have the right to share, preserve, and protect these heritage sites.” The fear is, after the final status of Kosova is decided, that politicians and land owners will uses these sites for personal and political gain.

I have lots of ‘alone time’ here: to reflect on my work, the work of KWN and WPC, as well as my perspective on international politics. I am disheartened, but not broken. I still believe that the work of individuals can make a difference for the better. The success of today is testament to that.

According to my digital map I am about half way between Boston (my hometown capital city – give it up for them RED SOX!!!) and London. I have packed up my life, stored it and left it behind -- excited about what will happen over the summer.

I will arrive at 5 am, change planes and airports; and then, finally, be on my way to Pristina. I have been horrible about blogging to this point—getting ready for this adventure in combination with my mother’s ordination into the Episcopal ministry has not lead to a blog conducive lifestyle. (I will take a moment here to say, congratulations momma).

I have been reading up on the history in the Balkans in a book called Blood and Vengeance. A wonderfully written and poignant book that recalls the stories of one family from the 1400s to the current decade detailing the Srebrencia massacre; Ottoman Turk invasion; World War one and two; the regimes of Tito and Milosevic. My knowledge of the Balkans was limited, at best, prior to reading this book. Now I am anxious to deepen my analysis on this region through personal contact. With the treaty between Montenegro and Serbia the Balkans is at a critical point where the success or failure of the Montenegrin state could determine the course of history over the next 200 years. What an amazing time to be working on women’s rights and civic participation in the region. In the coming months I could be witness to the forming of a new nation state. Of course I am not so naïve to hold my breath – but I am confidant that civil society organizations, like KWN, will pave the way to a stable and independent state of Kosova, a participatory democracy and equal rights among men and women.

Funnily enough (to the great dismay of my parents) I am not nervous at all. Warning of ‘threat level orange’ and civil strife are not really registering in my brain. I understand the potential for danger – but honestly, I am much more concerned with doing a good job. I have read the blogs of the pervious intern; read up on the region, and done all the prep work I can manage in order to begin a successful internship. Everything else: security, avian flu, and my own self doubt will have to take a secondary space in my mind while I concentrate on the task at hand.

I am leaving for Kosova to assist KWN and to advocate their cause to the international community. When I get in country I hope that my preparations, flexibility, and positive attitude help KWN and myself to make significant strides toward a wide-spread, polished, and professional reputation among the international community.

I don’t know, really, what to expect or what my daily life will be like. Most of the other interns are already with their host organizations. I am humbled to have this wonderful opportunity to learn and work in Kosova with women who have overcome and accomplished so much.

So for now…I m on a plane with nothing but a lot of great ideas and questions. More to come I promise. Right after I send the “everything is fine” email to the fam this blog will be my next priority. Thanks for keeping up!

Peace, Barb

Prehaps I should introduce myself. My name is Barb, and I am a masters student at American University and this summer I am working with the Kosova Women's Network in Pristina. For more information on me you can look at the bios on the Advocacy Project website.

Training has started this weekend. Meeting the other interns is pretty overwhelming. They are all talented, bright, driven and passionate individuals. I feel lucky just to be counted among them. In the couple of days of training I have already picked up great tips on advocating for KWN in the US while I am there. Obviously, this blog is the first of these initiatives. Learn something new everyday right?

I am excited and nervous about my departure. It feels like everything is up in the air and I have not good plans -- and yet, I m leaving in 2 weeks! Everything will work out I suppose. It always does, because it has to...I have plane tickets!

So after my fundraising rush (I raised over $3,500. Thank you to all the lovely people who sponsored me!) Now I am concentrating on my advocacy. I ll be contacting Centenary and American, for the college connection; The Shreveport Times, because the Washington Post will never carry my story; and any place that will host my blog. I ll keep you (and hopefully some well connected and concerned philanthropists) updated through this while I m in Kosova.

I also ask that if you can think of anyone who would want to read this -- pass it on. I ll advocate for KWN and hopefully you will advocate for me. I can't properly explain how much gratitude I have for all of my sponsors, friends and family, the Advocacy Project and the Kosova Women's Network for giving me the opportunity to learn and work with such wonderful people.